G’day, cobbers. A bunch of Redditors on the r/Australia forum gathered ’round for an online yarn, and together they’ve put together what they think are the “unofficial rules of Australia”.
You know, things like giving a big bag of soil at Bunnings a slap when you walk past it or shortening McDonald’s to Macca’s while lengthening Rob to Robbo? Yeah, those kinda things.
Think of the following 21 suggestions as a little checklist to help you understand how Australian you are. Don’t worry if all of these “Aussie” things seem foreign to you, my nonna wouldn’t do any of these fkn things and she’s a boss.
Let’s start off with the age-old Aussie saying “she’ll be right, mate”. Can’t say I’ve ever used it myself, but whenever someone says it to me I suddenly feel that, yeah, everything will be alright.
I’m sorry to say but this one might hit hard if someone has ever said “yeh right, buddy” to you and you thought it was a good thing.
Tong clack gang rise up. This one’s for us.
For anyone who drives, “the wave” is a necessary force for good in this world.
In fact, whenever I don’t receive a wave I suddenly feel an overwhelming sense of melancholy.
Nobody insults New Zealanders but us, their slightly annoying older brother.
I do not get this one. Please explain. Do we not all just close the gate behind us?
*heavy slapping sound*
Sorry to everyone who gets asked “how’s it goin’” on a day where it is NOT goin’ well at all.
Some of us ask the Uber driver if their night was busy. Other people (me) sit in silence and scroll through their Notes and Photo Gallery apps until they reach their destination.
Not going to lie, I don’t think I could force an ‘ahh’ out of me after sipping beer. I fkn love beer, but I’m too gay to pull off a convincingly satisfied moan without sounding like I’m cumming.
Alright, I’m guilty of the ol’ “AAAAshashashahahsha”, but I don’t understand the first one. What awaits inside the meat pie apart from meat???
As someone who killed three Huntsman spiders in the span of two days, I felt this one of the unofficial rules of Australia in my soul. And now I’m itchy.
Dad was a Parra Eels fan, I’m a Parra Eels fan. I don’t even like or watch NRL though. But yeah, up the blues!?
And they’re often right. That shit is going NOWHERE.
It’s true. “Your mate” is a deeply offensive attack.
No storage system in Australia is more secure than the towel-on-the-items method at the beach. This is one of the unofficial rules of Australia that I believe in wholeheartedly.
I’m taking my lack of nicknames in my life as a way to prove I’ve never done anything stupid or embarrassing, ever. You can never prove it, either.
We all have that one girlfriend who’s “old mate” sends shivers down the group’s spine. Thank God he’s gone, amirite ladies.
This one is just real fkn relevant to right now.