Gather round my crunchy-snack-loving children. I am going to take you back to a better time, a more inventive time, a time where snacks were fun colours and shapes and no-one knew what ‘macros’ were. That’s right. We’re going back to the 90’s and Doritos are the nostalgia-tinged wind beneath our wings.
You heard me correctly. Doritos is bringing back the iconic 3D Crunch chip.
“Now PEDESTRIAN.TV,” you may ask.
“Aren’t all chips 3D by virtue of them existing on this plane of existence?”
Yes my friends, they are. But we are here to talk about delicious crunchy snacks and not about physics.
The Doritos 3D Crunch chips are puffy, powder-laden pyramids of playdates past. They even have distinctly vintage packets. These will be on Depop within 10 days, I am telling you now.
They first appeared in 1998 in the US, right next to VHS copies of Titanic and many many cargo pants.
According to Doritos, customers on socials have been calling for the triumphant return of the Doritos 3D Crunch for two decades. That’s an entire lifetime. A lifetime in which you could never be as beloved or missed as a tasty, crunchy chip.
Doritos Marketing Manager Katherine Twomey said the brand is “super excited” to bring back the chip.
“Instead of bringing back the original, we’ve evolved the product to reflect the snacking trends of a new generation,” she said.
“We’re thrilled to introduce a new version and give this much-loved snack its very own glow up.”
Controversial I know, but who doesn’t love a glow up?
The new flavours are Extreme Cheese, Spicy Salsa and Sweet Chilli. My brain boggles at the very concept of Extreme Cheese. I can only hope every chip comes riding a teeny tiny skateboard like fellow nineties icon Tony Hawk.
You can score all three flavours at Woolies and the Extreme Cheese and Spicy Salsa flavours at Coles and other grocery stores.
Lick the Dorito crumbs off your sweaty fingers and taste the sweet elixir of youth. Go on my darlings. Let the Dorito dust transport you.
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